30 Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You
Two dozen servers reveal the truth about what goes on behind the kitchen doors.
By Michelle Crouch
From Reader's Digest
(Italic blue are my own opinion.)
What would two dozen servers from across the country tell you if they could get away with it? Well, for starters, when to go out, what not to order, what really happens behind the kitchen’s swinging doors, and what they think of you and your tips. Here, from a group that clears a median $8.01 an hour in wages and tips, a few revelations that aren’t on any menu.
What We Lie About
1. We’re not allowed to tell our customers we don’t like a dish. So if you ask your server how something is and she says, “It’s one of our most popular dishes,” chances are she doesn’t like it.
—Waitress at a well-known pizza chain
I'd like to think that I'm a lot more honest about this, I always try to give an unbiased approach, mainly so that if they do pick it I would have given them fair enough warning that they may not like it.
2. On Christmas Day, when people ask why I’m there, I might say, “My sister’s been in the hospital,” or, “My brother’s off to war, so we’re celebrating when he gets back.” Then I rake in the tips.
—Chris, a New York City waiter and the founder of bitterwaitress.com
This seems mean... and totally inappropriate. Especially if you have regular customers. What happens the next time they come in? Never lie, just don't tell customers things you don't want to have to talk about later.
3. If you’re looking for your waiter and another waiter tells you he’s getting something out of the stockroom, you can bet he’s out back having a quick smoke.
—Charlie Kondek, former waiter at a Denny’s in Central Michigan
This one is strange...
4. If someone orders a frozen drink that’s annoying to make, I’ll say, “Oh, we’re out. Sorry!” when really I just don’t want to make it. But if you order water instead of another drink, suddenly we do have what you originally wanted because I don’t want to lose your drink on the bill.
—Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan ©2009 Jupiterimages Corporation
Never happens where I work. No matter how busy it gets, or how annoyed we maybe we still make the 'difficult' drinks. When we are busy, customers always tend to pick the tables that have not been set up or have not been cleaned simply because they want it. There are plenty of other table available but they are not 'appropriate' for the customer for whatever reason. Most of the time we grin and bear it and set it up, but lately it has gotten ridiculous, I've only got two hands and a whole bunch of orders to pack. Of course this makes them feel like I'm lazy which really is not the case.
What You Don’t Want to Know
5. When I was at one bakery restaurant, they used to make this really yummy peach cobbler in a big tray. A lot of times, servers don’t have time to eat. So we all kept a fork in our aprons, and as we cruised through the kitchen, we’d stick our fork in the cobbler and take a bite. We’d use the same fork each time.
—Kathy Kniss
6. If you make a big fuss about sending your soup back because it’s not hot enough, we like to take your spoon and run it under really hot water, so when you put the hot spoon in your mouth, you’re going to get the impression—often the very painful impression—that your soup is indeed hot.
—Chris
I've never thought of this one, but you know sometimes it makes you think...
7. I’ve seen some horrible things done to people’s food: steaks dropped on the floor, butter dipped in the dishwater.
—Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area
If that happens and it is still served then there's something wrong with you. We always joke about it, especially the difficult customers. And sometime they really do push me to the edge.
What You’re Really Swallowing
8. If your dessert says “homemade,” it probably is. But it might be homemade at a bakery three miles away.
—Charity Ohlund
9. I knew one guy—he was a real jerk—he’d go to Costco and buy this gigantic carrot cake for $10 and tell us to say it’s homemade. Then he sold it for $10 a slice.
Steve Dublanica, veteran New York waiter and author of Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip—Confessions of a Cynical Waiter
What Drives Us Crazy
10. Oh, you needed more water so badly, you had to snap or tap or whistle? I’ll be right back … in ten minutes.
—Charity Ohlund
I am an offender to this. I think that it is so rude for customers to snap, tap or whistle at another human being, even if I am a waitress. Unless you are choking or have hiccups, you can wait just a little longer for that water.
11. We want you to enjoy yourself while you’re there eating, but when it’s over, you should go. Do you stay in the movie theater after the credits? No.
—Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area
This is so wrong. I think customers are allowed to stay for as long as they like after they eat, but never after closing time. Waitresses have lives too.
12. My biggest pet peeve? When I walk up to a table of six or seven people and one person decides everyone needs water. I’m making a trip to deliver seven waters, and four or five of them never get touched.
—Judi Santana, a server for ten years
Very true. Stupid thing is that I still have to wash all the unused glasses at the end of the night.
What We Want You to Know
13. Sometimes, if you’ve been especially nice to me, I’ll tell the bartender, “Give me a frozen margarita, and don’t put it in.” That totally gyps the company, but it helps me because you’ll give it back to me in tips, and the management won’t know the difference.
—Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan
I do this for people I know who come in to eat. After all what's the advantage of having someone you know? You treat me with respect and I'll make sure all your meals are prepared right and that you get whatever freebies I can offer.
14. If you’re having a disagreement over dinner and all of a sudden other servers come by to refill your water or clear your plates, or you notice a server slowly refilling the salt and pepper shakers at the table next to yours, assume that we’re listening.
—Charity Ohlund
True true. It also work in reverse too. We hear everything but we can also choose to ignore. If you decide to mutter under your breath or tell other people on the table loudly that something is not right but do not speak directly at me, I will ignore you. If you have a problem talk to me directly, don't pretend that I know what's wrong.
What Tells Us You’re Trouble
15. I get this call all the time: “Is the chef there? This is so-and-so. I’m a good friend of his.” If you’re his good friend, you’d have his cell.
—Chris
This drives me up the wall. The chef at where I work is also my boss. His English is limited but can still hold conversations with most customers. Customers feel like they are awesome because they know him. Sorry , but he really doesn't remember who you are most of the time. In fact you have more advantage knowing the waitresses then you do knowing the chef/boss. He will not cook your food any different, he will not give you a discount and most of all he doesn't even know what you like most of the time. Know your waitresses because that's your advantage, they will serve you ten times better, can give you freebies and will look after you because you are not just a table docket to them.
16. The strangest thing I’ve seen lately? A man with a prosthetic arm asked me to coat check it because the table was a little bit crowded. He just removed his arm and handed it to me: “Can you take this?”
—Christopher Fehlinger
Sense of humor in customers, I'll take them over snotty ones any day.
17. We always check the reservation book, scan the names, and hope for someone recognizable. I’m happy if the notes say something like “Previous number of reservations: 92.” If they say something like “First-time guest, celebrating Grandma’s 80th birthday, need two high chairs, split checks, gluten allergy,” then I start rummaging through my pockets for a crisp bill for the hostess and I make sure to tell her how much I love her hair fixed like that.
—Charity Ohlund
I get people who walk in on busy nights with no bookings and assume we will have a table for them. Yes, I will just add an extension to the restaurant and put some tables and chairs for you. I like the ones that come in on Valentine's Day or Mother's Day and think that there will be a table. Those two days are one of the busiest in the hospitality industry, please book. Oh, and don't harass us when there isn't a table for you, not matter how regular you, if you don't book you lose out.
How to Be a Good Customer
18. Use your waiter’s name. When I say, “Hi, my name is JR, and I’ll be taking care of you,” it’s great when you say, “Hi, JR. How are you doing tonight?” Then, the next time you go in, ask for that waiter. He may not remember you, but if you requested him, he’s going to give you really special service.
—JR, waiter at a fine-dining restaurant and author of the blog
servernotslave.wordpress.com
So very true. Waitresses has an uncanny ability to remember what you like and how you like it. You remember us and we'll make sure we take care of you.
19. Trust your waitress. Say something like “Hey, it’s our first time in. We want you to create an experience for us. Here’s our budget.” Your server will go crazy for you.
— Charity Ohlund
First timers always will receive special attention. It's the only way to create a customer base. But don't tell me that you are a regular when you are not. Just because you want special attention does not mean that you can all of a sudden become regular. I've worked in the restaurant for five years and I have 3-7 shift per week, I know if you are regular or not, don't bullshit me.
What You Need to Know About Tipping
20. If you walk out with the slip you wrote the tip on and leave behind the blank one, the server gets nothing. It happens all the time, especially with people who’ve had a few bottles of wine.
—Judi Santana
21. If you say, “Don’t worry—I’m a really good tipper,” that always means you aren’t.
—Chris
This always makes me laugh. If you're such a great tipper there's no need to say it. The truth is I'd rather simple, friendly, no-trouble customers over big tippers who complain about everything. Sometimes the tips are just not worth it and that's the truth.
What Else We’d Like You to Know
22. When you say, “I’ll have the pasta Alfredo,” it tells me two things: You aren’t interested in trying new things, and you don’t eat out much. Restaurants put this dish on their menus because it’s “safe,” it sells, and it’s cheap to make.
—JR
Our safe dish that I always recommend is the oyster sauce. Why? Because its not spicy, its no bland and its boring.
23. At one restaurant where I worked, the salads were made up to three days earlier. They were sitting on a tray with a thousand other salads in the refrigerator. The waiters went back, grabbed a plate and some dressing, and handed it to the customer.
—Jake Blanton
24. If you don’t like something, don’t muddle your way through it like a martyr and then complain afterward. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it. Send it back and get something else.
—Christopher Fehlinger
I completely agree with this one. If you don't tell me, and mutter about it within my earshot. I will ignore you to teach you a lesson. And if you still eat it all, well it can't been that bad now really?
25. Ask what’s in your smoothie. A lot of restaurants use half-and-half. So you think you’re ordering a healthy strawberry-banana smoothie, but it’s really full of fat.
—Waitress at a well-known pizza chain
26. Watch out for what I call the touchdown. That’s when the waiter comes around to refill your water and the pitcher actually touches your glass. If he’s touching all the other glasses with the same pitcher, think about all those germs.
—Jake Blanton
27. If you’re having a problem, speak to the owner if you can. Managers may have very little power. They’re less likely to comp a meal, and most aren’t authorized to give away free alcohol. They’ll also take it out on the server if you have problems.
—Kathy Kniss
In my case, I refuse to let you off simply because you dislike it and there is nothing wrong with it.
28. If you’re worried about cleanliness, check out the bathroom. If the bathroom is gross, you can be sure the kitchen is much worse.
—Waitress at a well-known pizza chain
29. When I’m hiring, I always look for someone who’s spent some time as a waiter. What I learned waiting tables was far more valuable than anything I learned in college as far as how to interact with the human race.
—Jim Sheehan, former stockbroker and waiter who now owns a successful IT consulting firm
I totally agree with this one. Waitressing is not as easy as just serving food, it also about interacting with people, pleasant and difficult ones. And as a waitress you know what it's like to be treated without any respect as well.
30. Once on Mother’s Day, this older lady came in alone and told me that her kids weren’t able to be with her that year, but they had mailed her a gift card. So I told my manager that we had to make this an exceptional experience for her. I told her to come back with a friend some time and use her gift card because tonight, her meal was on us. We comped her dinner, and I sat with her through dessert while she told me about her kids. My coworkers were happy to cover my other tables for 15 minutes. The woman told me she would remember that dinner forever.
—Melissa McCracken, longtime waitress in Hawaii
I love these types of things were you can just make a persons day. I usually like to put a candle on people's desserts if they don't have a birthday cake planned, or decorate the plate with happy birthday on it. This is one of the reasons why I have survived so long in this business, because you have the ability to make somebody have a pleasent night without much effort.
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Some of the points were slightly strange and not entirely true. But the ones that were right were right on the ball. I'd like to point out that this was also an American article so I can see how things might be different in the Australia. Interesting nevertheless.
I also figure that there will be a lot of these as time goes on, hence why it is Part I.
