Chilli-Man's Quest

Exposure to all sorts of funny food requests are not uncommon. Most of the time its quite amusing and you wonder to yourself why oh why would you have some of the combinations that customers decide to torture themselves with. However, when you usually get a strange request, first you say that it can be done. Second, you cover your own ass and make sure that you are not responsible for it tasting funny as it is the customer's choice to do that with their own food. Thirdly, so that we are not held responsible at all, you make sure that you have the order very clearly written and noted so that it is as original as it can be coming out of the customer's mouth. And some times this is the hardest part of all...

Take away phone rings. I pick up.

Chilli-Man: Hi, can I please order a take away meal.
Me: Sure, what would you like?
Chilli-Man: Can I please get chicken with fresh chilli.

Now this meal does not exist. There is Chicken in Chilli sauce where the fresh chilli can be added. I explain this to Chilli-Man.

Chilli-Man: I just want chicken and chilli.
Me: It can be done sir, but there will be no flavour as it will just be cooked chicken stir fried with fresh chilli.
Chilli-Man: Look, I've ordered it before. I always order this dish.
Me: I'm just trying to explain that we do not have this meal on the menu, and that I can do it but it won't have much taste because there is no sauce.
Chilli-Man: I order this dish all the time. Other restaurants do it! You know what, don't worry about it.

Chilli-Man hangs up.

Thanks Chilli-Man for your patience and of course the amount of rudeness that does get through the phone. He didn't seem to understand where I was coming from and for some reason he thought this dish existed which I'm pretty sure doesn't in Chinese restaurants so I'm not sure what he was after. Perhaps if he explained himself better and didn't throw a tantrum we could have gotten through the confusion together.

Oh well, I just hope Chilli-Man got his chicken and a whole bunch of fresh chilli to burn that rude tongue of his to hell.

Delivering You with Two Faces.

Its amazing how two-faced customers can really be. One minute they are all smiles and happiness and then next, when they don't get what they want because you just can't do it, they turn mean and nasty. It's not something that I can control and I do apologise for not being able to meet with your demands but is it necessary to be so mean and vindictive? Did you ever think that being that mean will actually get you something? And when you are inquiring or asking a question it does not mean the answer that I give you will always be the one that you want to hear.

Tonight was quite an eventful night, in the good sense. What happened didn't really bother me because quite frankly it happens quite often, and also it was a good night so I'm not fussed by ridiculous customers.


Take Away phone rings.

Me: Good Evening.
Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer: Hi, I just wanted to order a delivery order. You do delivery right.

I'd like to point out that a lot of customers have tried the method 'If I say you delivery, you'll deliver to me'.

Me: No sorry we don't do deliveries. Only Pick Up orders.
Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer: Oh really. I thought you guys always did delivery.

I've worked at the restaurant for five years. The first two years there was a delivery service because Our Boss had just started out and we wanted to branch out to form a bigger customer base. Eventually, we weren't really making that much off deliveries and there was no point in hiring a delivery driver. So in the end we phased out the deliveries, THREE YEARS AGO. I'd also like to point out that even though we did do them in the beginning we never printed it or advertised this to our customers, therefore there is nothing that says we actually do deliveries. Customers find this hard to understand.

Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer: Oh, but you use to didn't you?

Now the answer to this depends on how cheeky I am on the night. I usually apologise and let it go. Or some times it goes like this.

Me: [Laughing a little]. We haven't done deliveries in almost three years.
Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer: Oh, but you guys delivered to me the other week. I'm sure of it.

So some customers like to pull the method, 'If I lie about you delivering to me, then you have to do it'. I turn around and give them this method, 'You and I both know you're lying but I'll just let you know gently so you know not to try that again'.

Me: Sorry, but we don't do deliveries. You must have remembered the wrong place.
Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer: Oh okay.

You think that they finally understand but this is the part where Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer will sudden change from being quite friendly to just plain nasty. In the beginning we use to tell them that they can come down to get it and that it would be much quicker that way. This usually causes a really rude reaction from Two-Faced-Delivery-Customers.

Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer: How am I suppose to get down there without a car? Why do you think I ordered delivery.

I don't know. Maybe because really you are just lazy. And that's the truth with most deliveries. So nowadays we don't even give that option to Two-Faced-Delivery-Customers. If they like our food that much they will come down to get it anyway.


The conversation can end a few ways. None of them pleasant.

Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer [Response 1]: [Hangs up the phone without saying anything].

Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer [Response 2]: Well then I'll just go SOMEWHERE ELSE where there is delivery.

Two-Faced-Delivery-Customer [Response 3]: I'm sure you guys delivered to me the other day. [Hangs up without saying a word of Goodbye].



Its true. I've worked at the same restaurant for five years, but Two-Faced-Delivery-Customers seem to always know more than me. Why do I even bother.

Strange Egg Conspiracy.

I personally find that some customers just don't really hear the things that you are saying to them, no matter how many times you say it and how many ways you say it. This definitely applies to customer who complain or even when they inquire about certain items on the menu.

Take Away phone rings.

Me: [Pick up the phone.] Good Evening.
Egg-White-Man: Hi. I just have a few questions to ask you.
Me: Sure. How can I help you.
Egg-White-Man: Okay. The questions will sound weird at first but there is a point to it.
Me: That's fine.

I have to admit because it was a slow night I was intrigued. Also on top of the fact that you work as a waitress, once in a while customers still surprise me on the strange things that they may ask.

Egg-White-Man: Are you one of the chefs?
Me: No.
Egg-White-Man: Are you related to anyone that's in the restaurant?
Me: No.
Egg-White-Man: Do you work in the kitchen?
Me: Sometimes I do.

It was a strange line of questioning. In fact I thought for a while that he wasn't even actually going to order anything, but just wanted to find someone. So it was getting a little scary.


Egg-White-Man: Do you know anything about how they make the omelettes?
Me: Yes, I do, I've made a few myself.

On top of being a waitress, I also help prepare foods during the night so I have had experience in making an omelette.

Egg-White-Man: Can you tell me if you use WHOLE eggs in it?
Me: [Sigh.] Yes, we use WHOLE eggs.

Why did I sigh? Egg-White-Man has called previously and had the same question about our omelettes. The funny thing is that last time he called I was also the unlucky one that was on the phone explaining the same situation to him.

Every thing that he is about to say, he had said to me in a previous conversation. Pretty much a case of deja vu but I actually REMEMBER doing it.

Egg-White-Man: I use to own a cake store and make cakes, so I know that you can just get buckets of egg whites.
Me: Yes?
Egg-White-Man: I think that you make your omelettes from just egg whites.
Me: I can safely tell you that our omelettes are made from FOUR WHOLE eggs.
Egg-White-Man: It doesn't seem like it.

One; I did not think that you could just buy egg whites at the time. (After the first conversation with Egg-White-Man I did notice that it is quite easy to just buy egg whites). Two; this is the second time that we have had this conversation and the fact that I am saying the same thing does not seem to make a difference to Egg-White-Man.

Me: We use four whole eggs per omelette. Two large ones and two small ones.
Egg-White-Man: Well it just seems the omelette is too pale for it to be whole eggs in it. It looks like you just put egg whites in it.
Me: That's just the way the eggs are. The two large ones we have have paler yolks and this probably makes it look pale.
Egg-White-Man: Are you sure?
Me: Yes. Like I said it probably doesn't look as 'orange' because the egg yolk in the larger eggs are quite pale.

I was starting to get annoyed at this stage. Egg-White-Man was convinced that there was some strange egg conspiracy going on in our kitchen. Egg-White-Man didn't seem to want to believe me, it was more like he wanted to interrogate me and see if I would crack and tell him what HE wanted to hear.

Me: You do realise that I have had this conversation with you already.
Egg-White-Man: Yes, but I don't really believe you.
Me: Well, that's how we make our omelettes and there hasn't been any changes to it.
Egg-White-Man: But the omelette doesn't taste right.
Me: Okay...

So all of sudden it's not about the way it looks but also the way it tastes. Now, I think Egg-White-Man just wanted to be right, whether it be about the taste or about the look of the omelette.

Me: I can only assume that it's because we put some cornflower in it, so that the egg stays together into a nice omelette.
Egg-White-Man: Can you take the cornflower out of the omelette?
Me: Yes... But it does hold the egg together so it might turn out a little scrambled.
Egg-White-Man: That's okay. As long as it turns out 'omelette-like'.
Me: Okay...

What classifies as 'omelette-like'? I warned him about the problems with not having the cornflower in it and yet he did not seem to understand what may happen to it if it does not. 'It may not be 'omelette-like' if you take out the cornflower', does not seem to comprehend with Egg-White-Man.

Egg-White-Man: We like the food at your restaurant but some times the omelette puts me off.
Me: Well that's how we make them. With FOUR REAL WHOLE eggs.

Egg-White-Man is a regular Take Away customer. In fact he orders a Prawn Omelette every time with no onions, no beansprouts and only egg, prawns and omelette gravy. In fact, he orders this dish for himself over the phone, then puts us on the phone to his wife so she can order the rest because he doesn't want to get the wrong omelette.

Egg-White-Man: Okay. I'll call back later with an order.
Me: That's fine.

Egg-White-Man must have beeen really paranoid to have this 'egg chat' with me again, and not even be ready to order.


Later that night he finally orders his meal. Prawn Omelette with no onions, no beansprouts, no cornflower (as well this time) with only egg, prawns and omelette gravy. Along with a few other meals as well. We had a waiting time of 10-15 minutes last night. He did not come in until half-hour AFTER the waiting time we specified.

I can't understand why he was so convinced that we use only egg whites in our omelettes. The look and feel of just egg whites is very different and I personally do not think our omelettes look white, even if they are pale yellow-ish.

I was annoyed about the fact that he did not believe me the first time. I felt like taking one of the large eggs and cracking it in front of him so that he could see that there was indeed a yolk in it. In fact, next time he should just come into the kitchen before we make his omelette and have him watch us crack the eggs, mix up the omelette and cook it. Let me tell you, Egg-White-Man, that omelette will look exactly the same as all the omelettes that we give all our customers.

Two Hundred Items Later.

Customer-Without-a-Menu: [On the phone in take away]. Hi, can you tell me what chicken dishes you have on your menu.

There are over 200 items on our menu.
About 50 of them are chicken dishes.

Me: There are a lot of dishes. Did you want something in particular?
Customer-Without-a-Menu: Oh no. I just want to know what there is.

I take a deep breath and read out the chicken section.
Half way through this painful reading I already know that they have given up listening.

Customer-Without-a-Menu: Oh. I'll just come down and have a look then.

Sigh...

The Lemons Are Turning You Dramatic & Sour

There's a lot of people waiting to hear about this customer, Lemon-Lady. It is in fact one of my all time favourtie ones, and I must admit it didn't really piss me off in, just left me dumb-founded. Then again, don't they usually?

King Prawn Cutlets come in a serving proportion of six. There is also a complimentary wedge of lemon served with it, in both Take Away and Dine In. While some customers use the lemon wedge, some actually enjoy it with a side of Sweet and Sour. Everyone is different.

Lemon-Lady is regular Take Away customer. On this unique night she orders her usual King Prawns Cutlets. We receive a call from her later on in the night.

Lemon-Lady: There is something wrong in my King Prawn Cutlets.
Me: I'm sorry about that, what seems to be the problem?
Lemon-Lady: The lemon has no juice in it.
Me: Okay, so the King prawn Cutlets themselves are fine?
Lemon-Lady: No, because now I can't eat them without lemon.

Golly gosh, really now? This was not one that I had heard before. There was nothing wrong with the actual food, yet she could not eat it without the lemon? I stood there kind of dumbfounded, in fact this was one of the times that I really wished our Take Away phone had a loudspeaker, because I'm sure all the other waitress would have loved to hear this one for themselves.

Me: I can give you another lemon, even a a double serving of lemon, if you want to come get more, or I can make a note that next time you order we will make sure that you get a better lemon wedge.
Lemon-Lady: How can you give me a lemon with no juice in it. Don't you guys check it?
Me: We buy them from the local grocery store.
Lemon-Lady: Well, you should quality check them when you give them out.

Oh man. Lemon-Lady was fighting with me over the phone about a piece of lemon! But the funny thing was that at this moment in time, I wasn't pissed off about a stupid complaint as I would usually be, in fact, I thought it was amusing that we were fighting about lemons. That's probably why I started to get a little smart mouthed after that.

Me: Well, we just buy them from the groceries so if there is a problem with the lemons then maybe you should bring it up with them.
Lemon-Lady: I'm not going to go to the groceries to argue about lemons. You gave it to me.

Yet, it seems perfectly reasonable to still be on the phone with me about a wedge of lemon. 

Me: Sorry, but that's where we get them from.
Lemon-Lady: Like I said you should check them.
Me: So, you're saying I should squeeze them, so I know if the are juicy, before I give them out.
Lemon-Lady: Yes, you should check them.

At this point I think Lemon-Lady has eaten too many lemons because it's really gotten to her head. I felt like saying that well next time I will squeeze the lemon and then tell her about all the juice that came out of it, and then give her the wedge because I have quality tested it. But of course I had to hold my tongue. By this time a few other waitresses were listening on this conversation and realised that I was getting pretty fed up with it.

Me: Look, if you don't want to come down and get more lemons, I will just write it down for next time.
Lemon-Lady: Well, I want a credit for the King Prawn Cutlets.
Me: Is there anything wrong with them? [Knowing that there wasn't because she had told me there was nothing wrong with them.]
Lemon-Lady: No, but now I can't eat them without lemons.
Me: I can't give a you a credit for something that has nothing wrong with it.
Lemon-Lady: But how do you expect me to eat them now without lemons.

How about, bite, chew, chew, swallow? Not hard.

Lemon-Lady: I don't mind paying for extra lemons but I can't eat the Cutlets without them.

I like to tell everyone that waitresses do talk about you. You may think that we don't, but we do. Lemon-Lady had previously ordered a whole lemon with her King Prawn Cutlets, we charged her an extra dollar. After all, you don't get extra things for free. She complained about how we charged her the extra dollar for a lemon and never ordered extra lemon again. So obviously she was now lying to me to get her own way. I still had to hold my tongue, so I said nothing.

Lemon-Lady: I always order the King Prawn Cutlets from your restaurant, and I love lemons with them.

So maybe, just as a suggestion, Lemon-Lady should buy some EXTRA lemons on her own so that she can suck on as many of them as she wants.

Lemon-Lady: So now, I can't eat them without lemons.
Me: Look. We make the Cutlets, there is nothing wrong with them. We buy the lemons and when we cut it up it seems fine. So I cannot give a you a credit for the whole serving of King Prawn Cutlets.

It baffles me completely. The wedge of lemon is complimentary, we don't add it to the cost of the King Prawn Cutlets AT ALL. In fact, there are places that don't even give you the wedge of lemon. How can I give you a credit on a wedge of lemon that is not charged when you really plainly just refuse to eat perfectly good King Prawn Cutlets?

Lemon-Lady: Well that's just not good enough.

Lemon-Lady would not get off the phone with me. Really it was just wasting my time. Finally one of the waitresses tells me that if she puts the wedge of lemon in the microwave for a few seconds it might help with the juice issue. So I tell Lemon-Lady this.

Lemon-Lady: Well I'll see if it works.

Then she finally hangs up.


Now don't get me wrong. I love King Prawn Cutlets, I love lemon, and I love to eat the two together. So I do understand that she was a little pissed off that she wasn't getting enough juice out of the lemon. But if she orders it ALL the time, refused to pay a dollar for an extra lemon, and not buy her own extra lemons. What in the world was she complaining about? I understand if it was a case of wanting to inform us, as some customers do, but really she wanted a reward for it as well.


Never, in my line of work, would I have ever thought that I could spend ten minutes talking about a wedge of lemon.


After that incident, she ordered her meals under a different name (she orders the exact same things every week). I think maybe, just a little, that she knows she was being slightly dramatic over a wedge of lemon. She now also gets her son to come in the pick up the order instead of showing up herself. However, just in the last week she has started using her own name again, but she still has not come to pick her meal face-to-face in Take Away, but instead has her son picking up the order for her.

The moral of this? Don't argue for ten minutes on something that is not charged, and assume you will get some sort of credit for perfectly good food that you simply refuse to eat.

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Apologies for not updating in almost a week.

For once there was something else going on in my life that wasn't work/customer related.

It was nice even if it was short lived.

Let's Just Take Everything Out of Your Meal Tonight

Everyone seems to have specific needs when it comes to food. Some people like to remove certain ingredients from their dishes, adding things is always popular as long as there isn't a price attached and of there are ones that lie about how allergic they are to certain things to be sure that you do not put them in their meals.

Oh yes, I know about the lying.

Plumber is a very regular Take Away only customer. They order almost two to three times a week and their dishes rarely change. In fact we have their order written out because their needs are extremely specific. It is so specific that every little detail is also written on this paper, sticky tapped onto the wall. But due the specifications on each and every meal it is impossible to get it right every time, mainly because we are all only human.

Their order usually consists of one to three meals that contain a main meal and rice together into one container. Tonight's order was rather ridiculous and is probably the biggest order that they will have.


Satay Chicken with Fried Rice
(No peas, no vegetables, extra prawns).

Chilli Chicken with Fried Rice
(No egg, no onions, no shallots).

Beef with Cashews with Fried Rice
(No veg, no shallots, no ham, extra prawns).


There are so many complications to this already. The lady who actually orders these meals talks fast. Really fast. So whoever is taking down the order is already struggling to make sure we get it right. On occasion
she forgets to say certain items, but of course the customer is never wrong so we cop the blame in the end.

Then the kitchen has to interpret this. In fact all the Fried Rice has to be done separately because each one is so unique and complicated. Each dish is also different so then you have to make sure that the Main Meal corresponds to the right Fried Rice because every single person wants something different.

This usually results in a ten minute stand still while everyone from the person trying to cook the Fried Rice, to the Chef, to the person actually packing the meal together, tries to figure what rice is suppose to go with what dish. So then there is this major back log in Take Away orders.


I personally believe that you want to be that difficult there should be a surcharge. Especially if you order three dishes with three things that you want to exclude in every dish and are not easy to do.

I once tried to add a dollar extra for the extra prawns and got a response about how they have always ordered it and there was never extra charge. Yeah, that's because there's a secret. The truth is that we don't put extra prawns in it, we just put them on top. If you don't want to pay extra do you really believe that we would be just giving them out for free?

Seriously, think about that.

They also like to tell us if we do anything particularly wrong. It's not like it's life threatening but it seems like its the end of the world for them. If somehow peas manage to make into their Fried Rice they want the meal replaced, in fact they get really angry about it. No offense, but with so many changes to your meal do really expect it to completely 100% right?

Remember I'm human just like you.

So really in the end they should just get Steamed Rice. (How badly can that go wrong?) And just don't have any vegetables in your dish at all.  Also if you want extra anything, I'll be charging extra, full stop. If you don't like that then maybe you should just stop being difficult.

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It's been a long month.

I work as a part-time waitress yet I'm working six days a week.

So I'm a little tired and a little frustrated tonight.

Therefore this entry is probably a lot angrier and less amusing right now.

Legg-Ett-ing a Docket

Our takeaway orders are written on dockets for our own cooking, packing and end of night totals. So it is advised that we do not give them away to customers. It seems useless to hand them over anyway as they have no Restaurant Name or Tax File Number, therefore there is really no use for them in a financial sense. We do however automatically print off EFTPOS receipts (that does have Name and Number) and also do hand write receipts with Restaurant Name and Tax File Numbers on request.

Leggett is a regular take away customer. On this random night he decided to take the take away docket. The only reason why it was taken was because we had a fan on in take away to help combat the current heat wave, the docket flew across the table to his direction. He caught it and put it into his take away bag before anyone could ask for it back.

Now normally in this case, I just let it go. The hassle to try and ask for it back is just as easy as writing down the total, and if the order wasn't large, just writing out the order again. However, on this certain night we had  a very Dedicated-Waitress who really wanted that docket.

Dedicated-Waitress ran out the door after the customer. Now I didn't really know what she was up to at this point in time so it was all a little confusing. Another waitress told me that she had gone to retrieve this run-away docket. It took her a while to re-enter the restaurant. I assumed that she had been caught up in a conversation with the customer, as you do on rather slow nights.

I think she wished that it had been the case this time.

When Dedicated-Waitress finally returned, she looked slightly flustered.

Dedicated-Waitress: You would not believe that conversation I just had.
Me: You were gone for a while, I thought you were having a good chat with the customer.

At this point, I'm still thinking it was a pleasant conversation.

Dedicated-Waitress: I just got a LECTURE from that customer about receipts.

I started laughing. The expression on her face was of pure hatred and anger. So it probably wasn't the smartest of things I could have been doing at the time.

Dedicated-Waitress: I asked him politely if I could have the receipt back, then he started telling me that all retail places should give out receipts.

This particular customer has been ordering at our restaurant for as long as I have been working there. In fact I don't doubt that he has been eating at the restaurant even longer than I have been working there, or even longer than the time my boss has owned the restaurant.

So here's the confusing thing, he has never, to my knowledge, EVER asked for a receipt (unless it is from the EFTPOS terminal) at all. Yet all of a sudden he wants to be anxious over a piece of paper?

I'm thinking to myself that that was the worst of it, that all he wanted to do was to have a stern word to her about running after him for the docket.

Dedicated-Waitress: He, apparently, works in a burger place and they always give out receipts to their customers and that we should too.

I can remember that I have NOT gotten a receipt from more places than I HAVE from Take Away and Dine-In eateries.


Eventually after this long and painful lecture, our poor Dedicated-Waitress, who only went outside for one simple purpose; to retrieve this precious docket, had enough of being lectured over a piece of paper.


Dedicated-Waitress: [Looked at the customer and put her hands up in defense] You know what? If you want the docket so badly then you can have it.

I don't think our Dedicated-Waitress ever fought so hard in her life for any piece of paper, let alone one that was scribbled all over it.

At this point he then, finally, hands it over to her.  

After all of that.

Which makes me think how much this particular docket, on this particular day was especially important to him. So much in fact that he needed to harass a poor unsuspecting waitress.


Most of our waitresses are young (25 years old and under) and therefore sometimes older customers (which is a large majority of them) feel that they should somewhat impart mature wisdom onto us. However, when it comes out like a lecture, that's just not acceptable. Who do you think you are to lecture someone at all? Especially over something as trivial as a docket.


Later on that same night a customer came to pay for his Dine-In bill. Dedicated-Waitress was serving them and asked if she could have the bill after the customer had inspected it so that she could make sure she was putting the right total into the EFTPOS terminal.

Wife-of-Customer [To Customer]: Don't run off with it, she needs it [Referring to the docket].
Dedicated-Waitress: Yes, you might take the docket and 'leg-it'.

Dedicated-Waitress almost bursts out laughing in front of these unsuspecting customers, unintentionally making a awful joke out of her earlier debacle in the evening.

It was clearly just one of those types of nights and at least she could find the humor of it all in the end. And will probably never run after a docket EVER again.

Just Calling to Waste Your Time

I work in a Takeaway and Dine-In Restaurant and the level of skill and attention a waitress needs to have to be able to operate on either side is a little different. We train all the waitresses in Takeaway first and then migrate them slowly towards Dine-In. This gives them time to understand the menu items, remember prices and get familiar with our short hand writing system. It also means that there is less interaction time with the customer which means that they have less to be nervous about. However, the downside is that you have to be quick. Quick to answer the phone, take orders and to handle food and money. Takeaway is about doing things fast and efficiently to make the most money in the prime dinner time.

As a waitress I have also been (and of course still am) a customer, as well as being a logical person. So it will always amaze me beyond belief, no matter how many times it happens, the amount of phone calls I will pick up in one night where people have NOT decided what they want. They don't even call up to see what is on the menu, they simply just have not sat down and thought about what they want for dinner before they even start dialing our number.

Me: Good Evening.
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: Hi, I'd like to make a Takeaway order.
Me: Sure, what would you like this evening?
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: Umm... I'll have... Let me see...

Now some times I can hear them rustle about with a menu. Flipping it back and forth, frantically trying to find something to order. Maybe this is a dare devil method, or maybe they feel that they can somehow be pressured by the situation so that they will pick something randomly that they may like. Other times it continues like this.

Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: [Shouts to someone in the background without covering the receiver.] Hey honey, what do you want from the Chinese place.

Then of course I am deafened by the shouting, annoyed by the customer for not actually deciding before calling, and wasting my precious time.

Also, I can now hear the response from the other person, because for some reason the person responding is always on the other side of the room. Fantastic.

Person-in-the-Background: I don't know. You decide.
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea:  Just tell me what you want.

All the while I am still waiting quite impatiently and wondering of all the things that I could have done at the time.

Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: Okay, I'll have two large Fried Rice.
Me: Sure, no problem.
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: [Turns round again to Person-in-the-Background of course shouting and not covering the receiver, once again]. Tell me what you want so I can order it.
Person-in-the-Background: Just get some rice.
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: I already got that. What else you want.
Person-in-the-Background: Whatever, I don't care. Chicken?
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: What kind of chicken?


And of course this continues throughout the order, until finally they have what they want. Which I'm not sure if they know that they want.

It may sound outrageous and you may think that sane people would not do this. But it happens, A LOT. At least once a night. I am dead serious.

Here's the real kicker. It's only happened to me once but it just topped off the whole conversation.

Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: [Laughs]. I probably should have thought about it before I called, eh?

No, really?

For people like, Customer-Who-has-No-Idea, they must really think that I have nothing better to do with my time then to stand there and listen to their brains speak out loud on deciding what to order. Sorry, but if I sound a little agitated or a little annoyed its because you have wasted precious minutes to a waitress. 

Our work policy does not allow us to tell the customer to call back when they have finally made their decision when we come across situation like above. I understand this because you can seem rude and also it may mean that you lose this customer to another restaurant. We are one in six Chinese Restaurants in two neighboring suburbs, you get what you can.

Ordering is not hard, but be prepared when you are ordering instead of making the decision when you have me on the phone, I won't make your decisions for you anyway.

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Because Every Restaurant is the Same

Question of the Day

From a takeaway phone order.

We are a Chinese Takeaway and Restaurant.

Man-on-the-Phone: "Do you guys have Fettuccine?"
Me: "No, we do not have Fettuccine."

I didn't want to sound rude by stating the fact that we were indeed a Chinese Restaurant and not an Italian Restaurant. Meanwhile I was also trying hard not to laugh.

Man-on-the-Phone then spends a few (long) minutes describing what Fettuccine looks like. (As if I did not know). I then try to explain to him that we have Rice Noodles which in fact is very different to Fettuccine but is the closest that we have to 'Italian' noodles.

Man-on-the-Phone can't decide whether or not this is good alternative and says he might call back.

Man-on-the-Phone calls back and he orders. Stir-fry Beef with Rice Noodles.

I almost cry.
(But not sure from laughter or the stupidity of Man-on-the-Phone).

 Rice Noodles vs. Fettuccine

1. Rice Noodle are wider than Fettuccine
2. Rice Noodles are made from rice and Fettuccine is made from egg.
3. They are cooked differently.
4. They taste different.
5. They are from completely different cultures (let alone restaurants).

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