Let's Just Take Everything Out of Your Meal Tonight

Everyone seems to have specific needs when it comes to food. Some people like to remove certain ingredients from their dishes, adding things is always popular as long as there isn't a price attached and of there are ones that lie about how allergic they are to certain things to be sure that you do not put them in their meals.

Oh yes, I know about the lying.

Plumber is a very regular Take Away only customer. They order almost two to three times a week and their dishes rarely change. In fact we have their order written out because their needs are extremely specific. It is so specific that every little detail is also written on this paper, sticky tapped onto the wall. But due the specifications on each and every meal it is impossible to get it right every time, mainly because we are all only human.

Their order usually consists of one to three meals that contain a main meal and rice together into one container. Tonight's order was rather ridiculous and is probably the biggest order that they will have.


Satay Chicken with Fried Rice
(No peas, no vegetables, extra prawns).

Chilli Chicken with Fried Rice
(No egg, no onions, no shallots).

Beef with Cashews with Fried Rice
(No veg, no shallots, no ham, extra prawns).


There are so many complications to this already. The lady who actually orders these meals talks fast. Really fast. So whoever is taking down the order is already struggling to make sure we get it right. On occasion
she forgets to say certain items, but of course the customer is never wrong so we cop the blame in the end.

Then the kitchen has to interpret this. In fact all the Fried Rice has to be done separately because each one is so unique and complicated. Each dish is also different so then you have to make sure that the Main Meal corresponds to the right Fried Rice because every single person wants something different.

This usually results in a ten minute stand still while everyone from the person trying to cook the Fried Rice, to the Chef, to the person actually packing the meal together, tries to figure what rice is suppose to go with what dish. So then there is this major back log in Take Away orders.


I personally believe that you want to be that difficult there should be a surcharge. Especially if you order three dishes with three things that you want to exclude in every dish and are not easy to do.

I once tried to add a dollar extra for the extra prawns and got a response about how they have always ordered it and there was never extra charge. Yeah, that's because there's a secret. The truth is that we don't put extra prawns in it, we just put them on top. If you don't want to pay extra do you really believe that we would be just giving them out for free?

Seriously, think about that.

They also like to tell us if we do anything particularly wrong. It's not like it's life threatening but it seems like its the end of the world for them. If somehow peas manage to make into their Fried Rice they want the meal replaced, in fact they get really angry about it. No offense, but with so many changes to your meal do really expect it to completely 100% right?

Remember I'm human just like you.

So really in the end they should just get Steamed Rice. (How badly can that go wrong?) And just don't have any vegetables in your dish at all.  Also if you want extra anything, I'll be charging extra, full stop. If you don't like that then maybe you should just stop being difficult.

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It's been a long month.

I work as a part-time waitress yet I'm working six days a week.

So I'm a little tired and a little frustrated tonight.

Therefore this entry is probably a lot angrier and less amusing right now.

Just Calling to Waste Your Time

I work in a Takeaway and Dine-In Restaurant and the level of skill and attention a waitress needs to have to be able to operate on either side is a little different. We train all the waitresses in Takeaway first and then migrate them slowly towards Dine-In. This gives them time to understand the menu items, remember prices and get familiar with our short hand writing system. It also means that there is less interaction time with the customer which means that they have less to be nervous about. However, the downside is that you have to be quick. Quick to answer the phone, take orders and to handle food and money. Takeaway is about doing things fast and efficiently to make the most money in the prime dinner time.

As a waitress I have also been (and of course still am) a customer, as well as being a logical person. So it will always amaze me beyond belief, no matter how many times it happens, the amount of phone calls I will pick up in one night where people have NOT decided what they want. They don't even call up to see what is on the menu, they simply just have not sat down and thought about what they want for dinner before they even start dialing our number.

Me: Good Evening.
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: Hi, I'd like to make a Takeaway order.
Me: Sure, what would you like this evening?
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: Umm... I'll have... Let me see...

Now some times I can hear them rustle about with a menu. Flipping it back and forth, frantically trying to find something to order. Maybe this is a dare devil method, or maybe they feel that they can somehow be pressured by the situation so that they will pick something randomly that they may like. Other times it continues like this.

Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: [Shouts to someone in the background without covering the receiver.] Hey honey, what do you want from the Chinese place.

Then of course I am deafened by the shouting, annoyed by the customer for not actually deciding before calling, and wasting my precious time.

Also, I can now hear the response from the other person, because for some reason the person responding is always on the other side of the room. Fantastic.

Person-in-the-Background: I don't know. You decide.
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea:  Just tell me what you want.

All the while I am still waiting quite impatiently and wondering of all the things that I could have done at the time.

Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: Okay, I'll have two large Fried Rice.
Me: Sure, no problem.
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: [Turns round again to Person-in-the-Background of course shouting and not covering the receiver, once again]. Tell me what you want so I can order it.
Person-in-the-Background: Just get some rice.
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: I already got that. What else you want.
Person-in-the-Background: Whatever, I don't care. Chicken?
Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: What kind of chicken?


And of course this continues throughout the order, until finally they have what they want. Which I'm not sure if they know that they want.

It may sound outrageous and you may think that sane people would not do this. But it happens, A LOT. At least once a night. I am dead serious.

Here's the real kicker. It's only happened to me once but it just topped off the whole conversation.

Customer-Who-has-No-Idea: [Laughs]. I probably should have thought about it before I called, eh?

No, really?

For people like, Customer-Who-has-No-Idea, they must really think that I have nothing better to do with my time then to stand there and listen to their brains speak out loud on deciding what to order. Sorry, but if I sound a little agitated or a little annoyed its because you have wasted precious minutes to a waitress. 

Our work policy does not allow us to tell the customer to call back when they have finally made their decision when we come across situation like above. I understand this because you can seem rude and also it may mean that you lose this customer to another restaurant. We are one in six Chinese Restaurants in two neighboring suburbs, you get what you can.

Ordering is not hard, but be prepared when you are ordering instead of making the decision when you have me on the phone, I won't make your decisions for you anyway.

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